Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
