Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize