alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
