He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
