who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
