The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize