Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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