Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
