I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize