Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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