I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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