I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
