we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
