I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
