will power is for people who don't want to get laid
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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