im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
