One girl and one boy is just not enough.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
