no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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