Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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