whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
its liver damage thursday
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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