just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize