STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
