the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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