sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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