i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
