why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
