I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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