I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
