He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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