Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize