So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
