I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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