Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
