Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
