Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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