I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
