Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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(817): View more from Texas

I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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(416): View more from Toronto

DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.

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(813): View more from Florida

For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

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(239): View more from Florida

Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder

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(917): View more from New York City

My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes

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