I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize