I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize