He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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