she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
