everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
