Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize