new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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