Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
