I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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