just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize