Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
