and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
