I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
