Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize