we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
