Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
