none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
