Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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