Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
