i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
