Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
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