I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
