im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
