Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
