i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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