If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
