Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize