I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
