Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
